#122 - Bork
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008Bork is the sound Swedes make when they have anal. I should probably clarify that Tina isn’t actually crying out “Bork bork bork”. It’s more of a replacement for “hump hump hump”…
So I removed some profiles from the Facebook. Sorry if you really wanted to be friends with some of them. It was kind of unmanageable. I think I have the core players still there.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
nu börjar det bli lite brutalt tycker jag
February 26th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Jo kanske det.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
ANDERS!!! >:C
…Poor Tina… TELL him if you don’t want to!
February 26th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Ough!!!
Tina will take anything Anders wants? ANYWHERE?
February 26th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
poor girl, sad that she does things to be liked.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
guest comic by kc green
February 26th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Man, and he keeps going. I think that’s Anders’ problem–even if he knows something’s not a good idea he /keeps doing it/. Maria has her rediculous outbursts but Anders definitely lacks restraint, too.
Kudos, though. I can certainly say this is the first time I’ve seen a joke about anal that wasn’t something like “lolbuttsecks.”
February 26th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Also, Anders’ facial expression is perfect in every frame. In frame five he’s very determined.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
This strip puts The Swedish Chef into a whole new (and somewhat disturbing) perspective.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Anders is not all that great to be letting him bork you just because you suck, Tina.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
ugh. how can anders go from loving a self assured fire cracker like maria to shacking up with a pathetic wet cracker like tina?
i probably shouldn’t pick on her but COME ON.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Awww, Tina…
You kinda have to want anal for it to feel good.
Good intentions are no substitute for lube, either! Remember kids, when it comes to back-door shenanigans, too much lube is almost enough!
February 26th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
:
February 26th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Waughhh, at this point I just want them to get “officially” together already. Then there can be no more of Anders wailing about how to make up with Maria and then turning right around and screwing Tina. Maybe my mind is beginning to accept this new arrangement and is tired of shaking my first all “Grrr, Anders, grrr!” as if he’s still “supposed” to be with Maria..
Then again yes yes, the baby. I’m sure Maria could deal with him with that sort of thing, but at this point I probably wouldn’t be seeing straight if I knew this was going on in Maria’s shoes “:-[” Cursed situation!
Tina’s so cute, in other news. I love her huge eyes.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Tina is essentially a bush baby… (thanks Alex for pointing this one out! Spot on!)
February 26th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
You know, I think this is the single most mature webcomic I’ve read. At least, where people deal with pregnancy and long term relationships. It’s so easy to identify with the characters; some of the other comments are *golden*.
Way to go, Rene!
As for my part, I totally get the “you’re so slippery!”. That was well done.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I win!
I totally predicted that he “slipped” yesterday at the end of the comic.. who hasn’t been there?
This comic just gets better and better.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I hate tina so much. One of the reasons I hate Tina is because she’s letting anders walk all over her. At the very least Maria stands up for herself and told Anders to F off… that’s one of the reasons I like her more. C’mon.. you just let him do something that hurts while every five minutes he’s calling his ex.
Man up Tina!
February 26th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Anders has angry anal eyes! Take that, Tina!
February 26th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Ha ha ha ha! Gary, you are awesome
I totally agree. And Tina shouldn’t be saying things like that, no, but Anders should know better. If she’s crying in pain, you should probably stop.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
This is oddly sexy, in a Japanese schoolgirl tentacle movie sort of way.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
If Bork is for anal, what’s for normal sex?
February 26th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
1) She asked for it.
2) He can’t see her crying in pain - she turned and looked at him with a smile.
*shrugs*
February 26th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Tina- Anders like girls with a spine. Look at Maria. Maybe that’s why he wont shut up about her.
I could see why Maria hates her so much. People like that piss me off.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Bork… Also a lovely wooden side table from your friendly neighborhood IKEA! Part of the Borken collection
Also, when my mate and I went to get our most recent tattoo’s the tattooist reasoned that it hurts less than Borking AND getting your sack waxed, and I think he knows it!
February 26th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Wow… you can really feel the closeness, the intensity of thier love-making, can’t you?
The booze is gone and now its just them. They seem to be borked…
February 26th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Man, wanting to punch both of them a lot right now. And, Jeff, by his expression in the last panel, I was guessing he could kind of hear her “this hurts but i want him to like me so i won’t say anything” whimpering.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Who the hell invited the Swedish Chef? Talk about kinky!
February 26th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
I also despise people like Tina for being such push-overs… But you don’t take advantage of someone vulnerable unless you’re a giant ASS.
Btw Rene, congrats on an amazing comic. One of my favorites.
February 26th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Rene, I have to ask…
When you make a character like Tina, do you actually like her?
What are your views on Tina? Did you make her to get a rise out of your readers, or did you make her because she represents the mistake that everyone makes? Or maybe did you make her because you actually like her?
I’m just curious as to your views.
Flawless comic. Good for you! I give it an A+
February 26th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Fuck tina. Right in her asshole.
Shes human play dough, I tell ya.
February 26th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Aleke:
“When you make a character like Tina, do you actually like her?”
Yes. I like Tina very much, as I do all my characters.
What are your views on Tina?
Tina is nice, motherly, responsible and attractive. But she is also insecure, afraid of conflict and voicing her own opinion.
Did you make her to get a rise out of your readers, or did you make her because she represents the mistake that everyone makes? Or maybe did you make her because you actually like her?
I don’t make any character to get a rise out of readers! Basically when I came up with Tina I was thinking of the quintessential Swede (much like I did when making Anders). Swedes are very shy, afraid of conflict but are also warm and compassionate deep down inside. I am fascinated with the Swedish psyche and Tina is a way of exploring that.
February 26th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Two things:
Bork is the best word I have ever learned and I am so grateful to you, Renee, for it. I’m sure I’ll find a lot of really good ways to work it into conversation. (Haha, work it in. Haha.)
Also, is it me, or is this really cold and sterile to anyone else? Like, hey, we’re naked but it’s not that exciting. Also, I’m boning this lady in the bee-hind, but I don’t really seem to care what she’s feeling.
I don’t know about anyone else, but for the first six months of my relationship with my now husband, everytime he took off a SHIRT, it was exciting. Didn’t even have to be within the context of sex, it just WAS sexy. And poor Anders and Tina, don’t really seem to be all that into one another. I think Anders is just there because he’s really assed himself out of anywhere ELSE to go, and Tina strikes me as one of those “Anything but by myself, please God anything but that,” people. It’s hollow and depressing.
/rant.
Sorry.
February 26th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Rant away Madonna, that’s what the comment section is for.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
SURPRISE BUTT SEX
February 26th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Anders needs to learn how to deal with his frustration in a way that doesn’t require sticking his wang into the nearest lady.
Tina needs to learn to be less of a doormat.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
A CHALLENGER APPEARS?!?!
February 26th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Anders pubes make it look like his wang is upside down. Ha.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
madonna- i totally agree with you about the “coldness” of the scene. i feel like its just naked, sort of animalistic sex instead of loving warm togetherness
February 26th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
That bush baby picture is PERFECT. With the nose and everything! That made me smile tenfold XD
February 27th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Oh man. So much memespouting in this thread. I mean comments section.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Fnord: What does memespout mean? Sorry I’m dumb on the intermanettes…
February 27th, 2008 at 12:37 am
I think he means the lolcat quotes in the comments above, that people are using memes in their comments. Although really i only see the two, and one’s in direct response to the other one.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:41 am
“SURPRISE BUTT SEX”,
“A CHALLENGER APPEARS?!?!”
As I pointed out already some time ago, deep down in his cold heart, anon actually seems to like drama and romance.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:36 am
You’ve gotta wonder if Jim Henson was aware of the double meaning attached to “bork bork bork”, heh.
And I like Tina too. There are a bunch of complex characters in this comic, but the great thing about it is there’s nobody who we’re supposed to think of as the “bad guy”.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:11 am
@ Dave
I totally agree. That’s my favorite thing about this comic. Along with everything else.
Although a 2D villain would be nice. So long as he wears a cape and has a long waxed mustache which he twirls and yells out things like “You’ll never catch me!” and attempts to wrassle Tina the adorable bush baby onto the train tracks. Or Maria. So she can punch him in the nads (borker?). And then Johan can take him DOWN.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:20 am
I don’t think a girl can be considered anon if she gives her name.
At any rate, it truly was surprise butt sex. I was uh, surprised that it was included in a comic. Surprised and amused.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:25 am
Kate:
Now all I can see is that very scene, but with Tina tying Maria to said tracks. In my head, Tina has the handlebar moustache and everything.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:59 am
I am with Madonna, I get the feeling that Tina has the little resentment between she and Maria is reciprocal, but she just hasn’t vocalized it yet.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:35 am
I just don’t like Tina because, although she knew Anders was taken, she still allowed him to go forward with the whole thing, and now, she’s keeping him holed up in her house and pulling this relationship along even though she know’s he’s with Maria. Or was with Maria. Or whatever.
I think Anders is being stupid about the whole thing, but still, not an excuse for her underhandedness. And Maria, could she have been crazier?
A lot of these characters seem to be making a lot of dumb choices. I’m just wondering when this infidelitous storyline will be over so we can get back to the fact that “Anders Loves Maria”.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:57 am
i like this one! ha ha! i didn’t get it until i read what you wrote! EXIT ONLY BABY that’s what i say!
February 27th, 2008 at 7:11 am
@ romantic
Seconded.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Fnord, anon’s cold heart remains devoid of drama and romance. Yet there remains an Epic Win in our heart for the Bork.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:23 am
I’m not sure about all the anger towards Tina and Anders in the comments. Slipping during sex happens, and if you notice, Anders stops with the borking when he hears Tina whimper. A lot of us have been the same situation; boy wants to try anal, girl says okay if you want, it ends up hurting, they stop. Which is what makes this particular comic so hilarious to me. That, and the characters’ expressions. Loltastic.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:37 am
… agreeing with Cherie. Where is the Tina and Anders hate comin from? Speaking as someone with experience with anal… even wanting it doesn’t mean there aren’t going to be mess-ups and ‘OUCH’ moments. What is Anders doing that is so abusive?
He ACCIDENTALLY hit the wrong spot cuz everything’s slippery… SHE suggested they try anal… and it didn’t go too well. Oh well. Welcome to a normal sex life, where everything isn’t rose petals and morning-after kisses, where you fuck up a few times before you get things right.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Rene! Why do none of your characters wear condoms when they’re doing the dirty?
February 27th, 2008 at 8:04 am
Melissa: Unfortunately in Sweden condoms are rarely used. It is a problem here actually.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:11 am
The use of the word “bork” as a sound effect just totally throws me out of my comic reading groove. It’s like he’s angry that the Swedish Chef from the muppets just poked his head into the room to comment on their sexual proclivities.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:49 am
I am with the I don’t like Tina crowd either. Yes, I feel bad for her because she’s kind of stuck herself with a guy who may ultimately not care all that much about her…but she could have ended that at any time..
Or never started it …
dun dun DUN
February 27th, 2008 at 9:03 am
“Melissa: Unfortunately in Sweden condoms are rarely used. It is a problem here actually. ”
It’d be so damn weird if Anders got Tina pregnant. Maria’s pregnancy has been the focal point for most of this story, to throw in another would turn the comic upside down!
Would be fun. Also, both babies will be adorable- most of the characters are adorable anyways. Unless Maria really does have a flipper baby, but then it’d be cute in the way that a Pug dog is cute.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:04 am
I want you to know, rene, I started giggling and saying “bork bork bork” during sex and now I’m in the doghouse
It was worth it though, haha.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:15 am
I will never be able to watch The Muppet Show in total innocence again…
February 27th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Bad move Neil, bad move…
February 27th, 2008 at 9:25 am
@Alisa, I completely agree. Are there not enough guys in that town that Tina has to fling herself at Anders and be such a doormat about it? Bork bork bork, indeed.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:31 am
bork bork bork…
:D
February 27th, 2008 at 10:23 am
@neil
if my boyfriend did that, i would laugh like crazy, he looks at the comic sometimes and thought todays was funny.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:34 am
lennox-miller?! haha!
February 27th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I have to ask Rene, is the story or comic going to be affected by any of the drama that happens on facebook? Say someone tells Maria something that goes on in the comic but not known by her, will there possibly be some little plot twist with a spread of rumors?
I could get complicated xD But I thought it would be fun to ask!
February 27th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
evilbugz: There is a chance yes. I will try to keep what’s happening in facebook consistent with what is happening in the comic. The main plot happenings shouldn’t be affected by what the characters do and do not know.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:16 am
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch the swedish chef on the Muppets ever again.
Bork bork bork!
February 28th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
i agree that everyone is making really dumb mistakes, but I dont agree necessarily that anders and maria need to get back together. As i’ve mentioned before that heart between anders and maria IS a broken one. so maybe they wont get back together at all. Also i dont agree with that fact that just because andres impregnated maria they need to stick together. that is the WORST reason to stay in a relationship you don’t like, maria can be a perfectly good single mother and find someone who will treat her right
March 30th, 2008 at 6:04 am
Isn’t “Bork Bork Bork!” Vhet zee Svedeesh Cheff seys?
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:52 am
I can’t get the image of the Muppets’ Sweedish Chef going “Bork bork bork…”